I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
