Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
