Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
