I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
