Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
