my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
