the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
