we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
