you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
