No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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