We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
