ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
