There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
