I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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