she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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