Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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