sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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