im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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