Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
