That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
