There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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