he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
