hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
