he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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