Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
