I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
