Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
