so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
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