used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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