don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
