If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
