cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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