idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
