Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
