Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
