I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
