how can u be prego again
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
