It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
