you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
