We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
