yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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