Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
