I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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