so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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