oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What drink are we having for lunch?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
