i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
