And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
