Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
