dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
