Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
