Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
