ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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